After so many recommendations, I finally tracked down a copy of The Fault in our Stars and read it, the first book of novel in a long time for mine. Reading it with the album A Good Day by Priscilla Ahn looping in the late night, I felt moved. I am no writer, and no native speaker of English, so please excuse me.
Neither Hazel nor Augustus is anywhere near healthy. To them, my obesity and cardio condition is like nothing, everything is like nothing. Diagnosed with cancer in such a young age, they managed to live their lives in a meaningful way and left their mark on
the world someone that they cared so deeply, Augustus on Hazel, and Hazel on her mother.. However we, seeming healthy, barely scratches anything and still trying to keep afloat in the big, unmovable world, spending time doing everything that works as if nothing. Instead of lives people, both of them lived the lives of mayflies: live short, but live epic. They experienced a whole life, although short.
The translator called this book The Pain of Pleasure. This take is more direct than the original name, but still.
I am not going to keep writing sh*t. Here is what the translator said, paraphrased.
What is your fear? Forgotten, for Augustus, for every human being ever existed. It is this fear that driven the human being to the path of creation and conquer. However Hazel blew all this away simply: there always will be a time that human being would be extinct, and at that time there is no way anyone, anything will ever be left with a mark of you on it.
What is the meaning of everything? There is such a thing, universe, which is infinite. Every other thing, which is finite no matter what, is nothing in the face of infinity of the universe. Peter never managed to go beyond the point of the death of her daughter, but Hazel grew beyond that point when Augustus died.
What is your aim of life? Hazel fears death in the sense that she fears that the ones loved her will be hurt when she passed away, like an exploding grenade killing others. She tried her entire (short) life to find out an answer from Peter to no avail, but later she found it out when Augustus passed away as she never ceased to love him, and further confirmed when her mother told her that she will never cease to love Hazel.
What is love? There are two fundamental feelings: love and fear. We fear oblivion because we will be. It is the feeling of love that keep us afloat. When the manic pixie dream guy image of Augustus weared off in Hazel’s eyes, she felt the real love between her and Gus.
Besides A Good Day by Priscilla Ahn, another album (EP) to choose when reading this book can be Can’t Blame a Girl for Trying by Sabrina Carpenter, to me.